Six year age difference dating
“Age gaps work when the gap increases the likelihood of kindness and generosity, and work against the relationship when they don’t,” says. “An older partner may be more appealing if the younger partner can’t find these traits in their peer group.” That could explain why 57-year-old Stephen Fry recently married a man three decades younger, 27-year-old Elliott Spencer.
While we really have no right to surmise what’s going on with them, we still tend to speculate about the power balance in age-gap relationships.
“I am dating someone who is close to 20 years older than me and one major perk, if I'm being honest, is that he has money.
“The success or failure of relationships and marriages comes down to a number of interacting factors, and age is just one of them,” says psychotherapist Brendan Madden, former director of Relationships Ireland.They discuss the pitfalls (and surprising advantages!) of dating someone older, and occasionally (but not always), wiser.Going younger doesn’t mean you can’t also go older.Actor Tilda Swinton has had two partners, one 20 years younger and the other 20 years older, and she says they are all great friends who visit each other’s homes regularly.Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller had 11 years between them (didn’t last); Brad Pitt is 11 years older than wife, Angelina Jolie (has lasted so far); actor Stephen Moyer is 10 years older than Anna Paquin; Humphrey Bogart was 25 years older than Lauren Bacall (it lasted); magician Paul Daniels and Debbie Mc Gee have been hanging in there for 20 years; Jeff Goldblum is 31 years older than Emilie Livingston (31); Hugh Hefner and Kendra Wilkinson have a 60-year age difference.And then there’s 112-year-old Ahmed Mohamed, who married a woman 93 years younger in Somalia, which takes the wedding cake.A downside, says Murphy, is that “we often need our community of family and friends to hold the faith for the relationship while we dither or experience doubt.The high-age-difference couple might find they miss out on this support, leading to an earlier demise of what could perhaps be something long-lasting.” When an age-gap couple has decided not to have children, “the rules and boundaries are different, and perhaps the age difference is one of the first to go,” adds Murphy.She sounds a note of caution: “Where one person has age and money and the other has youth and ‘aliveness’, it can be a fair exchange or it can sometimes be an abuse of power if the younger person has no other income or means of support.My guess is that true friends will reflect the truth back to you in these situations and it is worth listening to them.” Madden says that “if the younger person’s search for an older mate is motivated by material considerations, such as access to financial security and status, then choosing an older partner is more likely to stack the odds against a successful long-term relationship,” says Madden.